courage enough
by Nemainofthewater
Summary: Quentin knows that Eliot's alive. He does something potentially stupid. Eliot does the brave thing. Spoilers for 4x05. Title from a Walt Disney quote: "All our dreams can come true if we have courage enough to pursue them."


Courage enough

It's a plan weeks in the making. Margo and Josh work day and night to combine the residue of the stone's blood and the leftover ambrosia to make something that will make the Monster fall asleep but won't actually harm him.

Meanwhile Julia and Quentin keep him occupied, travelling around the world and playing bait to a bunch of pissed off gods so that an even more pissed off Monster can rip magical stone-organ things from their bodies.

Quentin quickly gets used to being covered in blood. It's actually kind of worrying that he's become so blasé about it so quickly, but he's got a mission. And honestly it kind of helps that most gods are dicks.

He slips the golden concoction that Josh gives him into one of the Monster's milkshakes. It always takes them too sweet and covered in whipped cream, so it isn't too hard to disguise the potion. The Monster looks up at him and thanks him for the treat. It's childish, innocent in its own particular sociopathic way. Quentin doesn't feel bad as he watches it slump over in a diner in Hicksville, Missouri. He just feels relieved.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Q?" Julia asks.

Quentin nods.

"I have to-I have to see him," he says. "I mean I know he's in there. But I-"

He hesitates.

"You have to see for yourself," Julia finishes. She hesitates.

"You know this is dangerous Q. It's not human. I don't know what's in its mind, and I don't know whether I can get you out of there. You could be trapped."

"I don't care," Quentin replies, "I mean I'm sorry Julia but I really don't. I mean there are worse things. I'd be with him at least. Until you got us out."

Julia punches his arm.

"Don't you dare say that," she hisses, "Q, you are my best friend. My _best friend_, do you understand? Hell, with Penny missing and Kady doing who the hell knows, you're probably my only friend. And I want Eliot back, you know I do, but not at your expense."

"Julia…" Quentin says helplessly.

"I know Q," Julia says, "Just remember that you're important too."

She lays the spell out.

"I'm just glad that you trust me enough to let me do this," she says.

"Julia…you're my best friend too. And I'm sorry that we got so bad that I forgot that. But I love you. And I trust you with my life and my happiness."

Julia casts spell. And to the sound of softly chanted Greek, Quentin closes his eyes.

"Hello?"

He opens them. He's in Fillory. No, more than that he's home. He can see their house with its leaking roof and the chimney that just kind of spewed smoke around the room whenever they lit the fire, and the small garden plot that Eliot always claimed that he hated but spent hours tending to, guiding Rupert's small hands as they gently encouraged the seedlings to grow.

And there, on the mosaic. Their blanket. And Eliot.

Quentin walks over and looks down at him. He's asleep and it's all so familiar, like he's just nodded off waiting for Quentin and Rupert to return from the market, or for Arielle to call them in for dinner.

"Hey," he says softly. He touches Eliot's shoulder. Eliot blinks up at him softly.

"Hey," he echoes.

"Eliot," Quentin says, "It's me. It's Quentin. I'm here. We drugged the Monster, and Julia's casting Scarloti's for me, and I just-Fuck." He breaks off.

Eliot smiles up at him. There's something in his eyes, something- Quentin doesn't know what it is. That's what he tells himself. He definitely doesn't recognise it, the warmth, and even if he did, he can't read anything into it because this is a fucked-up situation and who knows what Eliot has had to go through down here, and they still don't have a choice, do they?

He's the worst sort of coward, but the walls that he's built over the last year or so are threatening to come crashing down, weakened first by pain and grief, and lately fatally wounded by hope.

Eliot pulls him down onto the blanket, and Quentin lets him.

"Q," Eliot says, "I don't know whether you're some memory that I've finally managed to conjure up, or if you really are suicidal enough to incept the Monster. I honestly wouldn't put it past you. But I promised myself- "he pauses, "I promised you, or at least a version of you, that when I saw you that I would do the brave thing. Because I'm sorry. I fucked up Quentin, I fucked up so badly because I love you and I was afraid. Afraid of losing you. I was afraid that you'd realise how much better you could do when you weren't trapped in the past trying to solve an impossible mosaic with me, and you'd leave me. And so I pushed you away first. When I'm afraid I run away."

Quentin's heart is pounding and there's a rushing in his ears and it feels like someone has stolen his breath or that he's started breathing properly for the first time since they got back from the past.

"Q, I'm still afraid. But I'm done running."

And Eliot leans in and kisses him.

"I can never apologise enough," Eliot breaths, "But I can spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you."

"Eliot you asshole," Quentin says, "I- you'd better not die. Because I need you to keep that promise."

And he leans forward and just clings to him. And he knows that he has to leave before the Minster wakes up, that he has to leave so that he can get Eliot back for real. But for now? He's surrounded by Eliot for the first time in so long. He can take another minute.


End file.
